NEVER...AGAIN!

I was, and still am a baseball nut.

I love this game. I grew up to love the game - I grew up to play the game effectively - and I grew to be pretty darn good at it.

I recently joined the Bradford Badgers. It felt absolutely to amazing to be a part of the game once again.

Hearing the "pop" of the gloves. The "clank" of the bat. It was just baseball again.

Looking back over my life, I just can not BELIEVE that I lost something I love because of no self-esteem. You see when I was in high school, it was a transition phase for me. It was a phase where insecurities are always high, but for me - it was a bit more dramatic (at least in my head).

My freshmen year, I was told that I would be wearing hearing aids the rest of my life. If you thought eye glasses were tough to wear - try wearing hearing aids! Talk about a wake up call. I felt everyone was staring at my ears. I felt there were people trying to talk to me and I couldnt hear them. I felt completely overwhelmed and vulnerable.

I don't blame my ears for much, but I will blame it for self-esteem issues. THEN I will blame myself for not battling through it. You see, if I had known THEN, what i know NOW - there is no doubt in my mind that I would have been able to play baseball in college - possibly semi-pro. Who knows? I will NEVER know because I let it slip. I stopped pushing. I stopped going 110%. I gave up on myself.

I realize how much i robbed myself - how much I robbed the game I loved so much. I say NEVER again will this happen in my life.

If you have done this - don't let your self-esteem run you. RUN IT! Say NEVER AGAIN! You may not get the chance to take it back later in life..it might be too late.

At 31, my run to the big leagues is PROBABLY over - like, 1 in 1 Billion (SO YOUR SAYIN THERES A CHANCE!). I could be like THE ROOKIE and get a shot at the bigs...who knows where God is leading (HA! That would be awesome, but probably not again - there could be a ball club out there that would take someone that runs an 8.4 40 yard dash, right?. It could just be the Bradford Badgers and I am completely OK with that as well - I feel extremely blessed to have this opportunity. I get to play the game I love at a high level.

(Me breaking out of "retirement")

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