What it all boils down to

When it comes to communication, what it boils down to is your level of tolerance to fear.

It is true. When we communicate, it is easier to communicate with someone you have a prior history with than dealing with the "unknown." I think that is pretty straight forward knowledge, but what if there was a way to harness it?

What if there was a way to harness your fears in talking to people? Taking it further, what if you could harness it JUST ENOUGH to make an everlasting impression on someone - virtually creating new friends and contacts that hold you in high regards?

I have tested so many things to help me, but this post is going to focus on harnessing that fear with the end goals of realizing the possibilities instead of them just being possibilities.

How to deal with Social anxiety and fear of people:

A. You need to take an inventory of yourself.

Yes, this is important. Where are the breakdowns? What struggles are you having? What are you saying to yourself? Where are the points that you get to "walking on water" and having faith in your abilities to communicate effectively?

Lots of answers can be there - and to be honest, a lot of LIES are being spoken to you from - you guessed it - yourself. I will cover common lies we tell ourselves in the next post.

B. Practice - Keep it Simple

You need to practice social skills, but keep it simple. One of the best communicators I know - able to strike up a conversation with anyone - is my brother. It is incredible to watch him work a room. Seems like everyone loves him and everyone can get a laugh from him. He will be the first to tell you it wasnt always this way. He learned by keeping it simple while being a grocery store bagger. He would strike up conversation with random people, get them laughing, and ultimately keep a conversation going while bagging groceries. Now being a top sales manager with a major corporation he still admits this is where he learned his magical skill of communication.

Keep it simple.

C. Try different things.

Push the limit of the conversation. Tell a joke. Find a sensitive common ground. Don't be timid if you notice something. Strike up a conversation and put a joke on you.

"cold out there today isnt it?"

They respond - "yeah..."

"You wouldnt imagine how much colder it is when you have no hair on your head!"

"Hey, I really like the hair style!"

Them: "thanks"

If your bald - "Do you think I could get away with that style too?"

Sure these are opened ended questions, but we are keeping it simple techniques for right now to get you out of your shell. Rule of thumb is asking questions that are not "yes or no" answers - but here you are just trying to get feedback - anything! Start here. Crack a joke - move on.

Grade on assignment - A+ - someone is going home telling their spouse or friends about the gy that made them laugh with a quick joke.

More to come on conversation openers, keeping conversations rolling, and common lies we tell ourselves in social situations.

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