5 ways to defeat a Self Esteem/Anxiety Attack

Have you ever sat in a group of friends, when it seems like, out of NO WHERE, you stop enjoying the moments you are sharing with them and instantly "close shop?"

I know I have been there. I would be out with a group of my friends, when I would stop hearing what they were saying (possibly the drink had an affect on my already terrible hearing) and become trapped in my anxiety. I hated that feeling, it would cause me to run away. I can not tell you how many experiences I look back at and think - "what could have been" had I stayed there? What would have happened if I just let myself have a good time and speak truth over myself more?

I am convinced that there are degrees of anxiety. Some are definitely medical that need professional help, but also conditional. There are triggers that put our insecurity into motion. Mine was if I couldnt hear something - I was insecure about my hearing and didnt want to look like a fool.

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Fast forward to recently.

My hearing aids have been broken for quite some time, and to my nature, I am procrastinating going to get them fixed because I have been so bogged down with work, and I recently had an encounter with an ignorant fella.

I was sitting at a table when someone was trying to communicate with me, someone that does not know me, and made a comment to my wife that "he sure doesn't like to listen, does he?"

Now, my wife and I are one - she defended me, however - in this instance, she leaned over to tell the lady my condition. To make the lady look MORE ignorant, she had the most pitiful attempt to "sign" (sign language) to me. The women didnt know sign language, at all - she was just intoxicated and was actually insulting me (well, I use that lightly for lack of better words). Again, completely ignorant and rude.

So I finally looked at her and simply asked, "do you have a problem with me? I am sure I could find something wrong with you to be ignorant about."

Her jaw hit the floor. Apologies all around. I just laughed about it.

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What did I do? How did I change it? How did I overcome this situation and just move passed the insecurity and anxiety those situations bring to me?

1. I know who I am

2. I learned and accepted my short comings in life, but know I have a unique value to anyone and everyone that I meet.

3. I understand there are other factors in a given situation and take nothing personally

Though this is a TOUGH one to get when you are insecure and have self esteem issues - its true. You can not possibly know all the factors.

No your boss doesnt hate you and yelled at you because he hates you. He/she may have other financial issues going on at home, or another venture he/she is involved in. Marital issues at home for your boss, kids not behaving, so many outside factors. No he doesnt hate you.

Same can be said about anyone, but the boss was a classic example of how it could ruin your day if work stresses you out.

4. I analyzed the entire circumstance

You need to be able to slow down for a minute and shut your mind off. Turn off your mind and look at what the truth of the situation is. So many lies can be swirling around your head that it will clog your judgement and anxiety creeps up for nothing at all.

5. It is NOT all about me all the time...

I am not saying that there are situations where you MIGHT come across something being completely you, 100%, BUT more often than not when people are talking - its not about you. When people look at you - its not always about you. When someone says something mean in your direction - it's not all about you. Get clarity before you let it effect you in anyway. Clear the air first - THEN react. Don't just react.

If you like to continue working on your self esteem, SELF ESTEEM 10 Things You Can Do To Drastically Improve Your Confidence and Love Yourself is an excellent resource for you to review.

REMEMBER! All of my advice comes from my struggle. All of these strategies, tactics, and "hacks" are coming to you from a person that struggles daily with the SAME THING YOU DO! Try them out - lets get through it all together!

Andrew